*Drum roll please*My first ever guest post is none other than this beautiful couple, The Ndhlukulas. They are one of the few couples I know that epitomise what it is to be young, extra fly, loving Jesus and married so I thought I would ask Lindiwe especially, a few questions on what she’s learnt through her journey as and to becoming Mrs Ndhlukula. You can thank me later 😉
To give you a bit of a back story myself, Thando and Lindiwe go to the same church- Agape for All Nations Ministries International- that’s how we became friends. They got married last year, aged 22 Lindiwe and Thando 24. I had the privilege of helping make their wedding and bridal shower a reality, so it’s an honour to be sharing them with you all.
Here we go…
Decades ago it was the norm for people to get married at such a young age like yourselves. But as time has gone by, our generation has headed the opposite direction and aren’t very open to the idea of marriage; they want to do one too many test drives before they say I do. You are both quite young, what’s your general reaction from people when they hear you are married?
When we got married I was 22 and hubby (Thando) was 24. The initial reaction that we got from a lot of adults was ‘you guys are young, why get married so young’ but that changed once we got married and people are super supportive. Our ages don’t seem to bother anyone or raise questions…people just see our Love for each other and just support us as we are.
You guys are inseparable, You really enjoy each other’s company without a doubt.What’s the secret to your happy marriage?
We absolutely love each other and enjoy each others company. There are multiple things that we do to make sure that we are always happy and joyful in our marriage. Firstly, we always put God first, in all things and situations. We also have an amazing marriage counsellor who taught us a lot pre and post marriage. We come from a Vision/Ministry that counsels couple into marriage and during the marriage and I really thank God for that because hubby and I barely argue because we’ve been equipped with the tools to deal with situations when they arise. And thirdly we just love and support each other, hubby is my best friend, we acknowledge that we came into this marriage as two different people but we’ve learnt to accept each other, adjust where needed and grow together as a couple.
Talk us through your courting process?
Honestly speaking the whole courting process was new to me. I’ve grown up in this country where being boo’ed up or being in a relationship is just the norm, so it was definitely an adjustment but looking back now it was well worth it.
Life is all about learning and growing as you go along. What’s your biggest lesson learnt as a wife?
The biggest lesson that I’ve learnt as a wife is that we came into our marriage as two different people with different ways of doing things but we learnt to accept each others differences and we made adjustments where we needed to. It’s all about being patient, we are both growing and maturing in our marriage.
Pre-wifey season what did you put into your preparation and if you could do something differently what would it be so I can I take note hehe?
I definitely started to read a lot about marriage and being a wife in the Bible. I wanted to understand what the Word was saying about marriage in general. 1st Corinthians 13, Proverbs 31, Ephesians 5 and a few other chapters became my favourite reading chapters.
I also began to understand that what Ruth was saying in Ruth 1:16 is also what I was agreeing to with Thando.. wherever he goes, I will go. Wherever he lives, I will live, His people, his family, his loved ones shall also be my people and my family. His God shall be my God..and we are blessed to serve our God, in Agape. If there is anything I would do differently it would be to be careful what advice you take heed of from different people. Many people will want to give you advice but I learnt early one..it’s best to have one counselor which is what we have.
A lot of girls get into a relationship and then toy with the idea of maybe he is the one maybe he isn’t. At what point where you like yup Thando is the one for me and what advice would you give to the girls who are at the stage of making that decision?
In my case, what did it for me was the fact that Thando is God fearing. There is nothing as attractive as a Man that fears and serves God. We were once taught that it’s good to make a list of the attributes that you want in a person that will be ‘the one’. I would advise other girls to make that list and pray about it. Seek God’s approval before you agree to marrying anyone. The number one thing on my list was for the person I marry to be God fearing, active in the house of God and to be from the same church/ministry as myself. And that’s exactly what I got. Also when making your list be realistic…materialistic things come and go, but you want things that are lasting. Choose attributes such as someone who is loving, caring, a provider, hardworking etc. I am blessed because I have an amazing Spiritual Father and I definitely ran Thando past him before agreeing to marriage hehe.
I believe you were studying as well as planning your wedding. How did you juggle wedding planning and university?
The funny thing is whenever I look back, I always ask myself how I even managed but I really believe it was just by the Grace of God. Somehow I just became even more organised and I learnt to really manage my time effectively. I also have to say I had an amazing support system, friends and family who really stepped up and helped me when I needed it.
As I’ve been told several times over, marriage is not something you should rush into. What do you reckon are the essentials a girl needs to get in place before ‘I do’?
Definitely be in right standing with God before you say I do. God is the covering that you will need once you are married.
Love yourself. Sometimes as females we struggle to truly love ourselves, maybe because of our weight, or the way that we look…the love of your husband will not cover that void but always remember that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. God loves you, just as you are.
Start to understand that it will no longer be an ‘I’ situation but it will be ‘us’.
What advice would you give to all those in pre-wifey season like myself?
Definitely focus on your relationship with God. That is the first and most important relationship you will have. Secondly, Don’t worry when you see other people getting married, it seems like it’s a thing nowadays when people see others getting married..they tend to ask when your wedding will be, trust and believe that in God’s timing your hubby will come too. And finally, just live and enjoy the life that God has afforded you, grow and better yourself as an individual.
If you like this post feel free to share with whoever or comment if you have any questions. I’ll happily send those over to Lindiwe.
With love always